Interesting Interpretations

On a packet of Crystal Dates... brand was: Green Ecology Limitless Magnificence.

Preserved Lotus... brand was: "Aftertaste without end" and the Usage Direction: Directly Edible.

On a packet of Indonesian Ginger Tea... “Feel the Different!”

But I think this one takes the cake... Seen on a packet of pistachio nuts: "The taste fashion interest Pistachio: Cool fashion needs cool enjoying for you are the newest man"

China Well-Known Trademark ISO9001 CERTIFIED

The ChaCheer(TM) Snacks, Delightful Taste !

The ChaCheer(TM) sunflower seeds,
picking the selected large and plump full sunflower seeds from the natural Inner Mongolian environmental-friendly farm, stuffed with traditional herbal flavor,
after steaming and roasting,
the crispy tasty seeds for sure
bring you the happiness of delicious feeling.

Well, after this quaint little intro I just had to try them and yes, they brought me the happiness of delicious feeling -for sure!

Click on title to see product (It may be well known to you)

Pig Intestine

I just ate pig intestine. It was ok... it tasted like pork alright but the texture was the weird thing -more like squid legs. But who would notice when it's smothered in a delicious spicy sauce?

Fantastic Figs

Ah, 'tis fig season as evidenced by my quite literaly stumbling across their flesh strewing the footpath. I happened to be playing that game where you sense your surroundings using only four of the five senses. On this occasion it was minus sight and the first indication that anything was out of the ordinary was the overwhelmingly sweet figgyish odor wafting directly up my nostrils. (Then came the inevitable smushing of said figs into the unyielding macadam). What a pity they lie wasted; rotting where they fall.

Figs make me think of 3 things: Astronauts, strangling and paradise. Let me explain.

1.A few years ago I was walking from Henderson out to Piha on the west coast via West Coast rd which wound up through the Waitakare Ranges. On my way I got chatting to an old lady and her two little yappy dogs about her laden fig tree. But whilst I was angling for a delicious morsel she was more intent on regaling me with adventures of her space travels. It was quite weird.

2. Next, they remind me of the massive 500 odd year-old strangler figs lurking deep in some tropical rain forest and my desire to climb one. The young figlet starts life nestled safely in the branches of some unsuspecting host tree. As it grows it sends down roots that fuse and wind their way down the host binding it into a living chamber and causing it's eventual death. Now, that's pretty impressive in my books.

3.And finally, yes, back to the garden where it all began. Human's vain attempt to cover their nakedness. The fig leaf was probably a good choice as it is rather large on the scale of fruit tree leaves but also inadequate as it rips and tears far too easily to be of any material use (believe me, I have tried).

Celestial Bodies

I seem to be obsessed with celestial bodies at the moment. I just have to stop and stare at them wherever I am.

After discovering my last name in the Bible, surviving an earthquake and gale force winds, wresting my kitchen utensils from the Big Bad Wolf and his mangy predecessor, I'm pleased to announce that Saturday's grape-juice making effort was a rather satisfying and rip-roaring sucess. Now to bottle it all before it ferments on the bench top.

Vindaloo

As I was cutting through the mall on my way home from work I got side-tracked by the delectable aroma of Shamiana's spices wafting down from the food court. So I stopped and ordered the chicken vindaloo. The lady told me it was really hot and checked (twice) if I was ok with that.

Of course I was ok with it; I wouldn't have ordered a vindaloo if I didn't want something with a spicy kick. And no, I did not need to order a drink aswell.

The way she went on about how hot it was, I was expecting it to sizzle my tonsils off on the way down and transform me into a veritable fire-breathing dragon. But no. It was only westerner hot. Crestfallen was I.

Despite the build-up of false expectations it was still good and just what I wanted.

Chilli Quest

During my week in Australia I tried a few out-of-the-ordinary chilli based products.

First, a BOOST Juice called Chilli-Chilli Bang-Bang, which was just your basic crushed berries and apple base with added chilli flakes. Interesting... and surprisingly refreshing with just the right degree of KICK. I liked it well enough (mmmm, yes I did) but not being a big liquid fan it meant I could leave it in the fridge and rest assured it would still be waiting for me later. David quipped "it's chilli-chilli today, and bang-bang tomorrow"

Of all the fudges I could've tried I had to choose the Hot Chilli Chocolate one, and yes, that was good too. Sweet chocolatey sugariness then slowly in crept a wave of chilli til my mouth almost exploded. It sure was a good way to eke out a tiny sliver of fudge!

Then there were sweet Thai-chilli sour cream flavoured Doritos, jalapenos on my pizza, portuguese spices on my chicken and when we got back to Kiwiland I got to tuck in to a "Wendy's" chilli with extra chilli.

And I wonder why all my food tastes so bland now?

Random Shop

What three things (and only three things) would one never usually buy in this combination from the supermarket?

Well, here they are:

1. Wedding card
2. Can of tomato paste (with garlic and herbs)
3. Methylated spirits


SIT COM

After lugging this lot home through blazing sun and scorching heat I plonked my booty on the counter and declared "I'm THIRSY!" at the precise moment I revealed the meths. Momentarily causing the girls to assume I'd bought it for some reason other than it's intended purpose (which was to rinse paint brushes, of course).

Can I just say that that was the most horribly pungent meths I've ever chanced to smell? It was so gross! (Later that night we added milk to it -just to see what would happen -yep, it curdled. I knew we should have tried lighting it on fire, now, why did we not? Oh yeah, I'm trying to keep up the cover of 'responible adult' and I didn't want to wreck my bowl)

Fruit & Vegie Prep.

A thought occurdled to me today. We shuck corn, hull strawberries, pit olives and dates, core apples and peel bananas. What else do we do to our food to facilitate comsumption?

Destructive Durian

I thought you might like to know that I just found out they named a wicked Typhoon after that delicious succulency, that exotic delicacy, the veritable crowning glory of all the tropical fruits the pungently overpowering and most revered, the humble Durian. How dare they?

I think part of it's appeal for me is it's inate unloveliness.

When we all know it is harmless really. Go visit durian palace for the many ways to indulge your durian tooth (and order a durian office party!? Ok, so, even that may be a bit much, even for me).

www.durianpalace.com/gourmet

Breakfast Surprise

This morning I broke my nightly fast with a couple of Weetbix (tm) in milk as I do most mornings, unlike the other morning when I went to cook my dinner in the microwave, I opened the door and lo, there, staring gormlessly back at me, I beheld two plump Weetbix languishing in day-old milk. Gross!