Fluffernutter

I just heard about a sandwich called a fluffernutter. Something about making a law to ensure this snack is not offered in schools more than once a week. My interest was piqued. I had to find out more. That is when I went looking and found this site. You can listen to the theme tune.

http://www.marshmallowfluff.com/pages/fluffernutter.html

From the site "Ah, Fluffernutters... there are many who say you haven't really lived until you've taken a bite out of one of these distinctly American treats!" and "a Fluffernutter is a wonderful concoction of Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter in a delightfully tasty sandwich!"

Well, there you go. I never heard of any such thing before, but it actually sounds quite nice.

Not Actual Size?

I noticed the packaging on some crackers I bought recently. Something really rather odd about the small print. You know the part that says "Serving suggestion only, Product shown not actual size". Yes, it usually needs to be there or else some poor, child is liable to fall under the delusion of advertising and think, for example, that burgers really are the size of towers, Kangaroos eat paw-sized cornflakes from a bowl the size of a feeding trough and other such nonsense.

But this case is different. I have overlaid a cracker on the packaging. Examine the pictures for yourself, and I'm sure you will agree that the actual product is actually shown actual size, yes, actually.

Sarah is..... (according to Gooooogle)

Sarah is currently the Parliamentary Candidate Sarah is featured on SMTv, an online podcast dedicated to independent musicians
Sarah is just one big huge ball of confusion
Sarah is an Israel-wide network of volunteers aiding disabled, elderly
Sarah is Scared!
Sarah's not scared of everything . . . just dogs and lightning and scary movies and the dark and . . . well, you get the idea
Sarah is seeking to seeking to fill in the Jerusalem area
Sarah is a top rower
Sarah is now known professionally as Sarah
Sarah is the Director of the National Centre for Tactile Diagrams
Sarah is in Madrid, Spain, promoting "The Secret Life Of Words"
Sarah is not on screen all the time, but she can be seen throughout the movie.
Sarah is a cancer-free, happy teenager
Sarah is a content teenager
Sarah is that her songs are not that explosive
"Sarah" is a terrific entertainment, a one-of-a-kind adventure, that preparesthe reader for the more ...
SARAH IS BEAUTIFUL Sarah is beautiful inside and out
Sarah is wonderful and there's no doubt
Sarah is hard working and organized
Sarah is an artist working in a variety of media who lives in San Francisco
Sarah is an avid dancer
Sarah is greatly afraid
Sarah is shocked to see that they are naked
Sarah is showing "uncanny recall
Sarah is now TWENTY years old!
Sarah is phenomenal - she is able to read, do basic mathematics (even better with a calculator)
Sarah is so cute when she's drunk
Sarah is getting her stuff back soon
Sarah is a sneaky goldfish
Sarah is the princess
Sarah Is Born
Sarah is the leader of the cool all-girl art collective in Detroit
Sarah is a drawer of many things
Sarah is not immediately available
Sarah is proud to announce she now offers Phone Readings
Sarah is in her early sixties and is traveling through the western United States
Sarah is making a change to MSR race wear for 2005
Sarah is somewhat of a celebrity
Sarah is one of the best guitarists and 'live performers'
Sarah is fortunate to have a daddy that works from home as an architect
Sarah is learning to cook just by being there
Sarah is an American Cabaret belly dancer
Sarah is the official Rakkasah East photographer!
Sarah is missing
Sarah is dead
Sarah is a page turning, gut wrenching, emotional roller
Sarah is peopled with characters who are struggling to make some sense
Sarah is the best actress
Sarah is a rare--and moving--opera about women
Sarah is very good news indeed
Sarah is in a unique position to see the militarySarah is a frequent guest speaker at military and literary events
Sarah is the same girl
Sarah is one of those who were thrilled to find an endless season on the dunes
Sarah is promised a son
Sarah is taken back by this and tries to deny that she laughed at their prediction
Sarah is CONFIRMED
Sarah is the one & only model for this event
Sarah is unable to model
Sarah is a humanitarian organization
Sarah is rejected and tormented
Sarah is full of such moments
Sarah is one of the top producing real estate agents in the Montgomery County area
Sarah is apparently the only one who called back the landlord
Sarah is a genius!! she should moonlight as a dingy apartment fixer!
Sarah is about to destroy the machine's central processing chip located inside his head
Sarah is the Shofar
Sarah is there...I will not forget
Sarah is where she should be
Sarah is a minister
Sarah is the aurthor of several books
Sarah is not the wife of a duke
Sarah is styled "Her Excellency Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York and Countess of Inverness".
Sarah is harrowing, gripping, haunting
Sarah is a marvelous, marvelous, marvelous jazz piano player
Sarah is one of the brightest young pianists on the scene today
Sarah is Jewish
Sarah is first of all, fabulous and talented and beautiful and amazing
Sarah is like me in a lot of ways
Sarah is in the elite Math, Science and Computers program
Sarah is a leader at Winston Churchill
Sarah is generating and characterizing mutations in complexin
Sarah is focusing on two relatively uncharacterized proteins
Sarah is now at an age where the excitement and anticipation are really startingto show.
Sarah is very excited about Christmas this year
Sarah is literally skin and bones
Sarah is confused by her feelings
Sarah is becoming a huge star
Sarah is at home sleeping
Sarah is first winner of new prize for outstanding achievement
Sarah is a muse - Bloggness about a girl with way too much senioritis
Sarah is finished!
Sarah is getting kicked off the show
Sarah is one of the most amazing people that I've ever come in contact with
Sarah, is in the late stage of pregnancy
Sarah is a tantalizing figure
SARAH is already a bestseller in France
Sarah is the story of Sarah
Sarah is not alone in her battle
Sarah is surrounded by an entourage, all of whom have their own agendas
Sarah is super tough
Sarah is being "comforted"
Sarah is a preschool teacher
Sarah is a very vocal person and leads by example
Sarah is both healthy and in basketball shape
Sarah is to characterize fully the importance of Glen's discovery
Sarah is not damaging insofar as she is included in the patent
Sarah is very attractive, cool and cunning
Sarah is motivated by compassion to do good deeds
Sarah is the child of two wealthy doctors
Sarah is currently starring on Mtv's Real World Challenge
Sarah is back in Switzerland! After about six months in India (right?
Sarah is in this month's Strut magazine
Sarah is a beautiful work of art
Sarah is here!
Sarah is available to come to your school site and conduct seminars tailored tomeet your specific curricular needs!
Sarah is a member of the performing collective UrbanMuse
Sarah is currently promoting her new CD at colleges and clubs
Sarah is concerned at EU plans which will increasingly infringe on privacy
Sarah is on the Council of Liberty and patron of Fair Trials Abroad
Sarah is first taken to be some kind of saint but then things go badly wrong
Sarah is an excellent character study
Sarah is apparently scoutingSarah is scheduled to start filming Southland Tales in August
Sarah is a deputy sheriff in Hennepin County, Minnesota
Sarah is asked to look into rumors that someone is practicing medicine without a license
Sarah is youthful, vivacious, and engaged in the community; she looks out for her neighbors and her poodle
Sarah is in her mid 20's, bright, personable and very attractive
Sarah is among those living inside Thunder Mountain
Sarah is responsible for the Austin office client satisfaction
Sarah is the current past president for the Austin chapter
Sarah is a West End Doll
Sarah is chasing dreams
Sarah is one of the most loving people I know
Sarah is around
Sarah is full of emotions
Sarah is more reserved, she will stand back and watch, and look around a bitSarah is easy to spot since she has a black spot under her chin
Sarah is without question one of the all-time top three
Sarah is very pretty
Sarah is poised for the future in her relationship with a man
Sarah is horrified that her daughter has so many children
Sarah is just 28 years old, she's traveled all over the world on foot
Sarah is currently training for the Boston Marathon
Sarah is a Reader's Advisor Librarian for the program
Sarah is a senior
Sarah is still not there just at the last minute
Sarah is also interested in visual and haptic face information
Sarah is investigating crossmodal face recognition
Sarah is 30 years old
Sarah is not infertile
Sarah is, in my opinion, one of the best defensive third baseman in the league
Sarah is a very versatile player that has filled multiple roles for us
Sarah is a bit upset in her email
Sarah is fiercely independent
Sarah is definitely a western
Sarah is going to New York New York in Las Vegas?
Sarah is having fun with the dedicated fans that type on her blog
Sarah is in town from Pittsburgh
Sarah is a Hebrew-speaking doll
Sarah is dressed in a blue short-sleeved T-shirt and a pink mini A-line dress
Sarah is a delight
Sarah is spokesperson for the Alliance of Liberals and Democrats for Europe
Sarah is particularly involved in asylum and immigration matters
Sarah is learning the violin
Sarah is unafraid to place her own order - chocolate ice cream
Sarah is a Research Economist at the Institute for Fiscal Studies
Sarah is also very involved with improving the world around her
Sarah is an active member in the South Halls Residence Association
Sarah is the Science Officer at the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society
Sarah is the Eishes Chayil, heeding her husband's call
Sarah is the master of desire
Sarah, is taken ill

Well, what can I say? My namesake keeps rather busy!

Hedge patterns

Standing at the bus stop I noticed some googly-eyed furry critters peering out of Pixar's latest kiddie offering "Over the Hedge" (a promo poster). Actually, I was so close I failed to notice said critters, preferring to scan the "Hedge" for leaf repetitions. Places where the exact same combination of leaves appeared.

I always look for patterns. As long as I can remember I've always done this. I guess it started out with living in a house with horrific (I could always manage to see a face in there somewhere) floral wallpaper. But with wallpaper (and lino and carpet and tiles etc) there will always be a repeating pattern. Not so with the swirls plastered on the ceiling. No, they were the work of a human hand (and with that implicit randomness came a multiplicity of faces).

The digital images, that abound so much more these days, attempt to duplicate the chaotic naturalness of an unordered beauty by mere formulae. It doesn't work. Everyone knows that, otherwise there would be a hedge looking like an overly verdant wallpaper. No, the pattern must be jostled, but even that by human intervention. To my eye, the result is rather "cut & paste". After all, nothing can really duplicate that natural conglomeration of moss-encrusted spindles bearing their weather-weary, sun-burnt, rain-torn, frost-bitten, wind-whipped excuse for leaves. Right? But digital art gives me the pleasure of finding disjointed patterns, and so, I accept it.

There are patterns in nature too but they are subject to a higher law. Instead, exhibiting perfect ratios that draw us in to their beauty.

Daily occasion.

What is an occasional table called if it is used more frequently than occasionally, say, everyday?

Ant Taxi

I got work and plonked my cell phone down on the bench, and lo, and behold, high and be dropped, out popped a rather stunned and bewildered ant. Strange. I picked it up (the phone) an another raced out onto my fingers. Weird. Coincidence? Maybe, but not when I shook it (the phone) and yet another Formicidaen creature fell out and quickly scurried away.

What? I mean, really, have I become an ant taxi now? I have no idea why they were cowering in there in the first place nor how they managed to survive the journey without falling out into my coat pocket.

Blue-tack Blues

I just realised I cant find my blue-tack. Not that I've actually gone looking for it and not that I urgently need it at this point in time, but that day will come and when it does, I want to be prepared. I have a vague distant memory of buying some, so it stands to reason that I must still possess the remnant -somewhere.

It is not lost. Oh, no, I know where it is not: It is not in the washing machine, it is not on the bookcase, it is not in the oven, it is even not in the top drawer. But then, those are not the usual haunts of undercover blue-tack.

The question remains, now, as it so often does, "is something lost if you know where it is but can't (or in my case wont/can't be bothered to) find it?".

The top five most likely locations of the hideout of the fugitive blue-tack are (in random order):
a) The stationary drawer under my bed,
b) The box of pictures in the wardrobe,
c) The washing basket,
d) The leaning tower of documents under the window,
or secrect option number e)
And right now, I'll be going with the latter as it seems to be the most viable option at the moment. But if I ever do need some blue-tack, I hear the shops have a plenteous supply.

Yellow Vomit

I just realised one of my favourite poems has this in it:

"Bathed in the yellow vomit"

It is a line from "Inexpensive Progress" by John Betjeman.

1-2-3 Bus Ride

How is it possible to pay for 1 trip and arrive at 2 destinations on 3 buses?

1) All travel was made in the two hour transfer time, hence the single fare.
2) First destination: Northlands. Second destination: Riccarton.
3) One bus to Northlands, one to Riccarton. Usually, yes, but this time the driver caught up to the bus ahead on the same route so passengers were swapped so everyone could get home quicker. Needless to say, I got way ahead of schedule (abnormally so).

Mall Noise

Trying to while away the time, I sat on the sofa and shut my eyes.
The place? Riccarton Mall, just outside Pak'n'Save.
For about ten minutes I opened my ears and this is what I heard:
Footsteps, footsteps a-plenty... the scuffles of jandles and flipflops (+/- socks) their wearers ardently defying the chill of Winter's eve. Slipper clad customers likewise. Sneakers sneaking. Loafers loafing. Stilettos on a mission. A horse and rider. Well, ok, no horse, but a fair few cowgirls clomping around in the latest trend.
A velcro bag wrenched open.
The entrance barrier gate clangging shut.
Metalic juddering as a trolley embarks it's next journey.
The endless flurry of beeps from the checkouts as the next item is scanned.
A querulous child.
The shuddering of vinyl as someone takes his place on the sofa.
And barely perceptible clicks as he contacts the outside world.
Rhythmic rattling as a trolley rolls past.
Polite chatter of the girl behind the lottery counter.
Followed by scratching, but no jubilent exclamations.
Coins clatter and fall., then "Home on the range" plays as a child rides alongside the 101st dalmation.
Jangling car keys.
Rustling plastic bags.
My own throat gurggling.
The cyclic slick-slicking of rubber trolley wheels rolling by.
A child giggling.
Cash-vending machines periodically divulging their contents.
A few nonchalent claps.
The intruding clatter of yet another hastily discarded trolley.
All to the 'background' music of some geriatric crooning "September Mornings" and "Call Me Loyal"
But most of all, the incessent crashing of the trolleys.

Incidentally, the guy on the cell phone, well, he left it behind on the sofa and I, well, of course I didn't notice it til I snapped out of my reverie. I did the right thing, though, and handed it in.